Photo credit: Sporks5000
This blog is my creative outlet.
Someone recently asked me what I would do if I won the lottery and part of my answer was to blog full time.
I would eat and travel and blog. And I would be completely content.
Of course my hubby would have to be by my side to make the picture complete, but in terms of doing what I love, it would be blogging.
This blog fulfills a space in me that I did not know existed before. I am not one for sports or hobbies. Unless you consider eating a hobby…and these days I need to seriously think about starting the Weight Watcher point count again. I am kind of out of control. I have been there before, I know exactly what it feels like.
My meal sizes are getting larger and larger and I am craving for sweet, then salty, then sweet when I really just need to drink water and tea. Also I kind of have a secret-not-so-secret addiction to chocolate mint. Things like York Peppermint Patties, Junior Mints, Alpine mints. Put a bag in front of me and they are gone before I even realize.
But I digress.
I think this blog fulfills some kind of extrovert nerve I have that is tucked in with all the introvert wiring in my body. I am an introvert, but I am a damn good fake extrovert when I want to be. And somehow I think this blog gives my tiny-minuscule-extrovert-version-of-me a chance to break out and say, “here I am and hear me roar!” ever so briefly before the “real Andi” squashes her.
I am doing something very unusual during the next two weeks. I am going to be forced out of my introvert comfort zone because I will be away from home two weekends in a row. This coming weekend I am spending a girl-weekend with my best friend of 22 years. We have known each other that long, been through ups and downs and ups again, but have never in 22 years had a weekend alone.
To call my best friend an extrovert would be putting it mildly – I adore her, but I am sure that this is going to be sensory overload! It will be fantastic and we probably won’t do it again for another 22 years, but I am going to enjoy every moment of it.
And then at the very moment I would need to crawl home and be quiet, I will be off to Nashville for Blissdom 2010 where I will be “on” again for 4 days. I love this conference. It is fabulous and I met the best people there last year and will know more people than any other conference I have been to.
It may be my only opportunity to see some of these people this year and I must profit from it, even when after a day or two I may just want to be silent in my hotel room. I have to allow mini-extroverted-in-phases-Andi to have her moment in the sun, because after these two weeks I am sure big-Andi is going to go into social shock and will become a hermit for a couple of weeks.
But no worry, I have this blog as an outlet to satisfy that little part of me that wants to shout from the rooftops, “look at me!”
So why this declaration now? It has something to do with my friend Julie of Writing Roads. Tuesday night she posed nude for an art class. (Read about it here in “Posing nude part deux“) She had never done it before and was a bit nervous. She did need some liquid courage to tip her over the edge to fulfill her commitment, but then something magical happened. She eventually pulled out her laptop and started writing and all her worries and anxieties floated away and she became absorbed in what it is she loves to do.
It got me thinking. And thus this post. Even though I am of the introverted persuasion there is still this primitive need to express myself through written word. A creative outlet. This blog. And like Julie when she became absorbed in her laptop, her tweeting, her writing, she forgot she was naked and was just in the moment.
When I am writing/blogging I am also in the moment and forget that I am an introvert. It brings me such joy and peace that I don’t even notice that I am naked to the world.
How about you? Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Do you have a tiny version of you that fights against the “real” you? Do you have a way of managing your dual identities?
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I can definitely relate, but I have the double whammy of shy introvert. The shy part is something I’ve been trying to overcome for a while and one of the main reasons I started blogging was to put myself out there. This way I can still feed my inner extrovert without wandering too drastically far outside of my comfort zone. I’m a newbie blogger and don’t have a following, but that’s ok for now. Just knowing that someone could read it is enough. I’m already noticing a difference in the way that I interact with the physical world because of the blogging. I’m even beginning to delurk!
I love this post. You express the need for balance beautifully. I am an extrovert.. I like people and do well in public situations, am good at public speaking and making ‘friends’.
Jobless at the moment, by choice, I am spending my days at home writing and blogging… talk about giving into my bliss! BUT, there is no one around! I am having to build in coffee ‘meetings’ or other activities to fulfill some of those needs.
And, I’m learning to love being at home and sitting with myself.
Andi, I love love love this post.
Personally, I am an extrovert but I love the privateness of blogging…
I’m borderline leaning more to the introvert. Like you I can force myself to be an extrovert, but not for long.
I love blogging because it helps me think. I think better when I’m reading my words as the appear on the page.
a total introvert. a writer who went into PR to make more money. I was a spokesperson for several government agencies and I’m an introvert! Somehow, it worked out well.
It’s wonderful to see old friends. I’m planning a girl’s weekend next weekend – back to Kansas to girls I knew at 14. I can’t wait. The intimacy and the laughter – all exciting. Prayers for traveling mercies, Andi. YOu’re on the go so much, and I love hearing all about it!
I play both sides. I’m quiet in the blogging world. But I’m a lot louder in person. See ya at Blissdom!!! I will be the loud one partnered up with Tiffany from SITS!
Oh, I love this post! I agree with you on so many points, even the chocolate/mint obsession! I, actually, am an extroverted actress. However, I find that when I’m in social situations, not onstage with script in hand, I am extremely socially clumsy and shy! Go figure.
Like you, I’m finding that writing in my blog to be supremely therapeutic. I can take time to organize my thoughts, choose the right words, and be in control.
Thank you for writing this, good luck with your busy (and exciting!) weekends!!
Andi – I’m so glad that I provided some inspiration. Makes what I did that much more special.
I’m with you on the blogging thing. My ultimate dream is to be independently wealthy or to be paid to write my blog.
I wish I was going to BlissDom – but only to see you and Harry Connick, Jr.
Can’t wait to see you in April! Long live the PDC!!!
I couldn’t have said it better. This is one of your best posts, which is hard because all of them are wonderful. Thanks for expressing what many of your fellow bloggers feel.
The dream of being a full time blogger is currently out of reach for me, but I keep trying. I am not making money with my blog, but I have made some really good friends–like Andi.
*I will give up pancakes if you give up the peppermint patties.*
You and me, girl… Travel-Eat-Blog. I sense a book in there…
Can’t wait to see you in Nashville. Introverts unite and take on the conference in full force! (But then I think most of us are introverts- which is why we blog!)
Most times I am content to be alone but then when the family is on holiday, I’m the first one to say, ‘These people will never see us again, let’s…’ and then suggest something outrageous–like doing the ‘we’re off to see the wizard’ dance!