Stolen from the Delicacies blog, I love this photo!
I “met” Delicate Flower of Delicacies in the Spring during Problogger’s 31DBBB. I like her writing style and her topics which often includes the trials and tribulations of the life of a women over 50. She is spunky, clever and thought provoking.
One of my favorite posts, which was included on a Saturday Six is titled, “Age is Only a Number” which she wrote to her little sister turning 40.
In a few days I will be turning 40 and I not upset, I am not going to cry in the corner or hide, I am thrilled! As when age, they rock! Delicate Flower is my own personal “woman of a certain age” hero and when she asked what topic to write about for her guest post, I asked her to write something for me emphasizing how wonderful it is to be at her “age.”
I consider the post she wrote to be a gift, not only generously helping me out with a guest post, but also giving me an early birthday present, as I can re-visit this post any time I have any doubts about how society judges women over 40 (or over 50, or over 60). Thank you for that!
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What does it mean to turn 40? 50 or 55? Having reached 55 a few months ago I’ve thought about what that really means. The answer? I haven‘t a clue. An internet search did lead me to numerous sites for the ‘hottest’ women over 40. Great!
Women with hot bodies and gorgeous faces, showing lots of cleavage. It is actually reassuring to see that someone thinks women can still be hot over 40-that is progress, in some fashion. Finding images of mature women, confident and happy in the prime of life requires a bit more searching. You won’t see them represented in popular culture.
Our society doesn’t value age, especially when it comes to women. We’re all about youth. So much of the advertising for women of a certain age is focused on how to ‘reclaim’ that youthful dewy look. How absolutely unrealistic! We can dye our grey hair, get a facelift, a pushup bra, force ourselves into tummy control undergarments and dress like teens-for what?
Where is the balanced image of women I sought? How do women navigate reaching an age that is perceived as significant, even over the hill? Women in this second half of life are exciting. We possess maturity and experience which makes us good employees, bosses, lovers, friends and partners. We can be frisky, spontaneous, and playful while possessing the wisdom to know the right place and time. We are comfortable in our own bodies and we know how to satisfy ourselves and our partners. We don’t get ruffled as easy—we can handle challenges and disruptions. We possess clear minds, fit bodies and a wealth of ideas and interests.
So, why does the media have such trouble portraying women of a certain age? Why isn’t Jamie Curtis talking about the powerful things she’s done in her life instead of urging us to eat yogurt for our delicate digestive system? Why can’t Sally Fields find something more important to talk about than her anxiety over weak bones? C’mon… Why do people buy over the hill balloons (black and funereal) and talk in whispered tones about turning 40? Women become their own worst enemy when they do that—it is like fraternizing with the enemy.
Let’s celebrate, own our age and embrace it unapologetically. Be sexy if we choose, bold, brash, brainy. Be assertive, show off our gifts and talents. Be ourselves.
We owe it to ourselves to honor the progress we’ve made as women. At 40 it’s a time to look back (briefly) with satisfaction on where we’ve been and rejoice at the wide range of opportunities awaiting us. Life is far from over; in fact I think these years bring greater joy and satisfaction. It should be a celebration with bright colors and excitement, ripe with possibility. Save the black balloons for another day.
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Having been tempted here by DF, I as an OFaBOF (Over Fifty and Boring Old Fart) and male of the species offer the following.
Our western world culture does not value ageing, until the extreme end of 100+. Social attitudes to the older woman are bad, to the older male only marginally better. Yet, in blogoland, there is a different emphasis and acceptance. Our experience and ability to formulate ideas into readable prose is a great advantage over the 140 character bleating, or is it tweeting? We can disseminate views, opinions and support each other in adventures that were denied our predecessors before the internet.
So, I agree, age is irrelevant; health, compassion and getting on with avoiding the reaper is the way forward.
This is a lovely post and very timely. Thank you. I think I’m going to bookmark it to look at to remind myself that being over 40 isn’t a bad thing. I certainly don’t want to be in my twenties or thirties any more.
Dave,
So glad you came to take a look…I’ m all about health, compassion and getting on but let’s add some fun, sex and outright enjoyment, shall we? You’re not over the hill yet, neither is the Mrs.!
Corrie,
Thanks for reading and for valuing what Andi and I both have to say. There is much to look forward to and to relish as we age. I’m 55, in a great, vibrant and sexy relationship and happy with life. In many ways I think I’m a better lover, better individual and able to enjoy life much more at this age.
It’s a myth that we ‘re over the hill at this point! Believe me…..
The best is yet to come.
Hi Jennifer,
Glad you commented, it gave me a chance to check out your blog! I’ll be back…