I have been thinking a lot about my engagement in the world lately. My husband and I discuss this all the time. In French schools children are taught to question, to analyze, to research everything. They are much more exposed to philosophy than American students. They must be able to argue both sides of an issue and really look at the detail.
That can be an infuriating characteristic as well. I have had “discussions” with French colleagues in the office while I was working in Switzerland that were very frustrating. Someone who take the opposite point of view just for the pure pleasure of debating the topic, even though they did not agree with that point of view at all!
In addition, if you read Jamie Cat Callan’s “French Women Don’t Sleep Alone” you will know that French people are brilliant at dinner party conversations, the sheer number of topics that they can discuss is amazing. They are interested in everything around them. And don’t get me wrong, this is a good thing. But sometimes, and I am finding this a lot lately, I just want to focus on me and my little world. I often term this as a macro versus a micro view of the world. I am going micro.
This may sound odd, considering that I spend a lot of time social networking. I read a lot of blogs. I write daily here. I write several times a week on my other blogs. I tweet. I do Facebook. But I am building my own little microcosm, my own community that I care and support and I am not looking to take over the world. Sometimes I open the community too wide and I start to feel overwhelmed, so I have to close it back up again.
And in terms of the big world out there – do I really have to care?I don’t want to worry about the recession. I don’t want to worry about the unemployment rate. That is not to say that I don’t care. I choose to act locally or where I can make the most impact. I choose not to focus on saving the planet, but rather my city. I feel that by living green because it is the right thing to do, and not because I am trying to save the planet that somehow that will have more impact. I want to think and locally, but I define what local means to me.
I know my boundaries. I know my essential core, my wiring. I am a happy, positive person and I think it is because I try to focus on the micro, my micro. Is this selfish? That I am trying not to lose myself in the service of others or the world wide everything else? We all have choices in life, and I choose to maintain control over what I can control and be the best person that I can. That is my meaning of life, how I define goodness. I am a kind and generous person who tries to find peace and balance.
Of course, I have not always been this way. I spent many years, in fact up until April 2002 being a very unhappy person. But then I had an epiphany and I was finally ready to change because I decided it was exhausting being me! That I was making myself unhappy and the people around me. So I decided to just be happy, that I could not control the world, only my world. Don’t get me wrong, I am still a very driven person. I am a highly organized, obsessive project manager, employee, business owner, friend and wife, but I only attempt to control those things I can. The rest, I let it go. Micro.
The most valuable lesson I can share with others is find peace with yourself and your place in the world and be happy and be nice. In fact this post was inspired by blogging buddy Jen of JenX67 who this week wrote a post that really resonated with me called “the time of day.” I think it is far more important to be nice to the people around you than to worry less about the things you can not control. In my experience, the recession will end, the jobs will be found, solutions will fall into place because they are supposed, and my worry about them is not going to have any effect.
What do you think?
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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Interesting. Have you written more blogs about your epiphany in April 2002 and how / why you decided to be a happier person? It’s a rare thing for someone to be able to do that. I wonder what the events were that lead up to that, Andi. Very intriguing.
I am going to R/T this and add it to my FB stream. Good stuff.
Andi, this is an excellent post! I think we all can benefit from taking a closer look at our lives and how we can find peace and happiness within ourselves.
I would also be interested in the details of your 20o2 epiphany. What was the process that lead you to being the Andi that is so awesome.
Thanks Clara and Chrystal, in 2002 I was coming off a very intense site re-design project in which I was working many, many, many hours. [I still had not recovered from the one I had done in 1999/2000 in which I literally worked every single day (including Sat/Sun) for 14-16 hours between October and January including all the holidays in between.] I was miserable and self-righteous and every little tiny thing bothered me and set me off. I just woke up one day in June, right before the launch of the re-design and said to myself, “it’s exhausting being me, getting over yourself and just learn to be happy.” At the same time, someone very dear to me just simply said, “you are ok.” Something no one had ever said to me. I decided to be happy. I pulled back my hours and took back my life and you know what? The site re-design still launched on time, I had been carrying too many people and when I disengaged others filled the gap. It was like I got a new pair of happy glasses, I started to see the world a different way and I have never looked back!
Excellent post, Andi! That is exactly how I live my life too…
I think…this was an incredible post!!! Too often I focus on the macro, when I think I would get SO much more done if I focused on the micro. Thanks for the gentle reminder. I do love how brilliant the French are when it comes to conversation at the table. I dated a Parisian for a while and he would always impress me at dinner parties. Inner peace IS achievable, I know it!
I think that even if you’re interested in many things, everyone also want to concentrate on its own world sometimes. =) I do too. ^^ Even if I’m very very curious of the world. ^^
So interesting, Andi. I think God is in the micro more than people realize. The day I did the photo shoot of my daughter at the laundry mat, this old man – seriously, an octogenarian – struck up a conversation with me. I so needed to jsut focus on the photography, but he just kept chatting away. He proceeded to open up about his life as a whistler and all the whistling competitions he’s won. Just as I was about to start agonizing, I finally just surrendered. He needed someone to listen to him and I was there. Put there by God or coincidence? Didn’t matter. In that moment, I was doing it unto the least of these…worshipping God in some vain by offering time to someone lonely.
I get overwhelmed, too. I have to shut the world out. I’m an introvert, which was very challenging be in PR all those years. I forced myself out. The other day, I passed a pregnant teen. I thought if I had more time, I’d help people like that. I can only trust that God will bring the people across my path that He needs me to help, b/c I can’t help them all, ever.
Wow, I jsut left like five comments on your blog ::::stalker:::: hahahahaa! Great post! Thanks for the shout out!!!
Sorry for my unperfect English.
Change yourself and you’ll change the world.
A lot of individuals doing good things like you wrote ,
increase general happiness.
But , why do not do both, micro and macro?
- “11) The structure of the microcosm is in accordance with the structure of the macrocosm” – Emerald Tablet -
xatstilo
@Xatsilo, thanks for your very profound comment!
xatstilo, not Xatsilo, anyway thank you!
@xatstilo, oops sorry!